How to Nurture Your Child’s Body Image

November 2, 2022 Children

Six-month-old Madilynn, my first grandbaby, had just arrived for a visit. I was telling her how happy I was to see her when my husband reached over, jiggled her little leg and said, “She’s so fat!” Although it was said in a loving way and with a big grin, I was put off. “She’s a baby!” I replied, “And what she is, is beautiful!”

To help children feel good about their bodies and themselves, it’s essential to encourage a healthy attitude about body shape and size.

Body image is a person’s thoughts and feelings about their body. Babies are born with a positive body image. Think about how babies enjoy playing with their toes, seeing themselves in a mirror and playing pat-a-cake — they feel good about themselves and what their bodies can do.

It’s wonderful that children begin life feeling good about their bodies. However, negative messages about body weight, size, and shape can turn a positive body image into a negative one.

Sadly, our society often tends to focus on physical appearance in a very judgmental way. Negative messages about weight, shape and size are common. Take a look at the ads in magazines, on TV, and on billboards. Many of these ads try to make people believe that looking a certain way (usually thin) is the key to happiness. A focus on appearance can teach children that what they look like is more important than who they are.

Children who have a positive body image feel more comfortable with themselves and feel more capable. On the other hand, children with a negative body image feel insecure, anxious, and cut off from others. Children with a negative body image are also more likely to gain too much weight or suffer from eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa.

Children need to know

they are beautiful inside and out — no matter their shape or size.

Studies show that some children as young as three feel bad about their bodies and worry about their weight. Three-year-olds need to be playing and laughing, not stepping on a scale or going on a diet. Luckily, there are many ways parents can protect and improve their child’s body image.

Teach your child that people come in all shapes and sizes.
Help your child understand that a person’s shape or size does not determine their worth.
Don’t comment on your appearance or other people’s appearance.
Focus on your and your child’s inner qualities and strengths such as being kind, having a sense of humor, and being curious.
Talk about your body and your child’s body in positive ways. For example, being grateful for strong legs that can walk and jump and for flexible arms that can hug others.
Respect your body and teach your child to respect theirs by treating it well and taking good care of it. Encourage active play, watching less TV, and getting enough sleep.
Have meals and snacks on a regular, reliable schedule. From the foods you provide, allow your child to decide what and how much to eat.
Nourish yourself and your family with a variety of foods. Know that all foods can be part of healthy meals and snacks.
Don’t label foods as good or bad or say that you or other people are good or bad for eating certain foods.
Don’t make comments about the amount of food a child eats. Trust your child to know how much they need to eat, and trust your child’s body to turn out the way nature intended.
Don’t use words such as “fat” and “diet.” Instead of going on a strict diet or stressing over the numbers on the scale, try setting a good example by eating healthier, balanced meals.
Don’t compare your body or your child’s body with others. There is no ideal body.
Allow children to express their thoughts and feelings without judging them.
Cultivate a positive, safe environment at home to help children feel loved no matter what.

The bottom line: Put the focus on health — physical, social, emotional, and spiritual health — not on looks, weight, size, or shape.